Have you ever wondered, that you might be walking in circles?

I'm not talking about walking as in walking.. more like, what you're doing, how your life is turning out.

It's been a while since I've written something.. anything. That's because I have been walking in circles. There isn't anything interesting to talk about is there? If you keep passing by the same tree you see Regardless, I would like to thank everyone for wishing me well on my last post, and hungrywoman for asking how I am. I'm fine sweetheart. =)

Sometimes you get lost, while walking the same beaten path. You don't search for that river anymore, that will lead you out. You get comfortable, complacent even, with the life (or the lack thereof) you have.

Circles. I'm glad I finally found the river I have been looking for.. Now, to grit my teeth and carry on…

Posted in General, Musings | 3 Comments

Health is Wealth.

I am poor.


I’m down with the runny nose, the headache, and my body feels like it’s burning up. I haven’t felt like that for a long time.


Posted in General | 11 Comments

Spam.. Weird Facts.. Me..

Hey ya everyone! *waves* =D I haven’t disappeared la.. I just, don’t know what to blog about. Haha. To answer babe’s question, nothing is up. I’m still looking for a job.. albeit not very religiously. Heh. I’m getting too used to the slacker life-style.. *sheepish grin*

Spam, that irritating thing called spam.. I have been getting quite a few of those and it’s irritating the hell out of me. Mr Jason, do you think you (or I) could do something about it? Let me know ya?

I know.. I’ve been tagged by OLLie.. so.. here goes nothing. Oh, erm.. I might not have so many weird facts about me, but we’ll see how it goes ya? =)

24 Weird Facts about Me:

  1. I have a weird spelling/difficult to pronounce name (in dialect).
  2. My weird spelling name looks Korean.
  3. It is spelt as “Jyh Yeong.”
  4. Apparently, it is the name of some director of some old show which my parents saw on tv, and decided to call me that.
  5. I absolutely cannot live without music.
  6. I sleep with music on.
  7. My radio is perpetually switched on 24 hours a day (if I am at home).
  8. I need to sleep with my neck supported, i.e. a firm pillow, otherwise, I’ll be too uncomfortable and will probably wake up with a sore neck.
  9. I am quite irked by people who spell funny.. lyk watz rong w spelling words as it xhld.
  10. I don’t really listen to Chinese songs even though I don’t speak a word of English at home.
  11. I have this.. erm.. habit of suan-ing people.
  12. I know a lot of useless trivia like SPAM is actually a type of food before it came to be known as unsolicited emails.
  13. I am quite a movie buff.
  14. I only had 1 prior relationship.
  15. I am really close to my ex-girlfriend as a friend.
  16. My ex-girlfriend and I hang out together, with her boyfriend.. and now, we’ll all friends.
  17. My biological clock is quite screwed, and I am quite nocturnal.
  18. I have a large group of friends.
  19. I have problems remembering who some of them are (the not so close ones) in my phone book.
  20. My dad once thought I was gay because I hung out with my guy friend all the time.
  21. I think I am quite old-fashioned in certain things.
  22. I keep things to myself.
  23. 23 is my favourite number.
  24. I can be shy.

There! Done! It’s not easy man.. I had quite a hard time thinking of what to write. Questions and comments are most welcomed. =)

I tag: selsel, pmg, sylvia and whoever hasn’t done this. =D

Posted in General | 19 Comments

I Walk Alone.

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone
Green Day — Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Posted in Feelings, Musings | 7 Comments

Music Oracle

I promised Kook that I would do her meme.. so here it is. =) Okay la.. I know I’m like.. uber late. I is lazy, but I did it anyways.. so be nice ya? =D
Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

Oh, other than trying to make the connection from the title, (for some questions) I’m also trying to make some kind of connection from the lyrics.. so.. if you think “huh?” google the lyrics ya? =D
How does the world see me?

Tony Rich Project – Nobody Knows It but Me

FBL: That means they see me as quite sad la is it?

Will I have a happy life?

Jay Chou – Ba Wo Hui Lai Le

FBL: Wah.. another sad one. Eeks.

What do my friends really think of me?

Eagles – Hotel California

FBL: Hm.. that I’m stuck somewhere?
Do people secretly lust after me?

3 Doors Down – Here Without You

FBL: Don’t care.. I’m taking this as a yes. Woot! =P

How can I make myself happy?

Queen – I was Born to Love You

FBL: I need to find someone to like.. erm.. love first. No wonder I not happy now la. =P
What should I do with my life?

Queen – Somebody to Love

FBL: Haha. The lyrics for this one is, “Can anybody find me somebody to love?” See above question. Hahaha.
Will I ever have children?

Jay Chou – Jian Dan Ai

FBL: Asking me to don’t think too much, just.. love the other person first is it? keke.
What is some good advice for me?

Robbie Williams – Better Man

FBL: but but.. I AM a better man already!
How will I be remembered?

Celine Dion – All by Myself

FBL: Die. That means the above few question won’t come true already.. =(
What is my signature dancing song?

Jordan Chan – Wo Ai De Ren

FBL: Wah.. difficult to dance to this song no?

What do I think my current theme song is?

Crowded House – Take the Weather with You

FBL: Hm.. quite apt methinks.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

Duran Duran – Come Undone

FBL: erm.. I’m sentimental?

What song will play at my funeral?

Jay Chou – An Jing

FBL: Wah.. “How will I be remembered” question seems to be coming true. =(
What type of men/women do I like?

Utada Hikaru – First Love

FBL: Maybe I like a girl who lives in the past.. (erm.. watch Pride)
What is my day going to be like?

Lone Star – Amazed

FBL: Hm.. Really?! I can’t wait. heh.

Posted in General | 11 Comments

Are you ready?

I’m in quite a pensive mood today, so let me try and tackle the question that everyone wants an answer to. Make no mistake, these are my views, and they may be one-sided.. but do let me know what you think. Here goes nothing..

Love is something that everyone is searching.. maybe even yearning for.. that elusive unicorn for some, the light at the end of the tunnel for others, and the pain at the very core of their beings for others.

Is love just a fleeting feeling? Is it akin to one wanting to freeze frame the perfect sunset; but never really capturing the essence and beauty of it all? Or is it akin to one trying to grasp at the shadows; a near impossibility but we try anway. Can it even be measured, and put into words?

I wouldn’t call myself holy, but there is this passage in the Bible that talks about Love..

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (New International Version)

I agree with what is said. Isn’t love supposed to be nourishing, rejuvenating, and even liberating? Isn’t love supposed to be all-conquering? Or is that something that Hollywood would like us to believe?

I had one previous relationship which didn’t end very well; add to that some other experiences that wasn’t exactly very pleasant and you have me.. I do not believe in fairy tales. I am jaded and cynical. I walk away even before anyone has the chance to close the door on me.

I digressed. Love, to me, is a commitment. It is a conscious effort at making things right; it is a deliberate action of one, to make sure one doesn’t stray; and it should be with much cogitation before one enters into this commitment called love.

I know, I’m making it sound like it’s a lot of hard work, because it is. Whoever said being in love and in a relationship is easy should be slapped with a 10 foot decomposing trout. When one is in a relationship, there is someone else to think about. There is the accomodating, compromising, the taking and the giving. Of course, it shouldn’t feel like it’s hard work, because joy shared is double joy; (and) grief shared is (only) half grief.

Love is a double-edged sword. It can be even more beautiful than the most spectular display of fireworks you can think of; it can also be uglier than a flies-infested troll with pus oozing out of his pores.

Love is how/what you want to make of it.

The question is.. are you ready?

Posted in Musings | 19 Comments

It’s true..

.. what I said during my last post. I did a little test I saw somewhere.. and look at the results:

***People Envy Your Compassion***

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others’ happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

Do it, and let me know what people envy about you. =)

Posted in General | 31 Comments

Superman.. or not.

“Thank you, for being here for me Ageis.”

Ageis gave Callista a smile, hugged her and said, “You better run along now, you’re going to be late for your appointment.”

Sipping at his coffee, Ageis watched as Callista walked away, for an appointment with her boyfriend. Ageis sat at the cafe alone, watching the world go by. He had nowhere to go, no one to meet. He has everything, he has nothing.

Time is what everyone wants, time is what Ageis has, but Ageis had nothing; no job, no partner, and no one to go out with. Nobody has enough.. time.

Aegis let out a wry smile. It’s funny, really. Aegis is the single one, but he never fails to somehow become the love doctor for his friends. Well, love doctor… and then some. Callista is just one of his many friends that turn to him when they need advice, comfort, and a listening ear.

Aegis is flattered, really.. that his friends trust him and finds comfort in his words, and he really doesn’t mind. There is, however, a small problem. Aegis has no outlet for himself. Sometimes, Aegis feels like a sponge.. an emotional tampon.. trying to soak up all the unhappiness around him, so that everyone can be happy.

Sometimes, just sometimes, Ageis feels like he knows how Superman feels.. with all that pent up emotions with nobody to talk to; like how Superman fights off all the villians so that the people can live in peace, like how he’s a shield.. except he is only human too.

Aegis took another sip of his coffee and felt invigorated. It feels good to be able to make someone, especially friends, smile.

“Oh well, come what may.” He thought to himself.. and watched as the world goes by.

Posted in Story-telling | 4 Comments

Just a little bit..

.. about me. I did this online quiz thingy. A few things are quite accurate methinks. Anyways, here it is:

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They’ll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don’t judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren’t necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people’s eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren’t interested in wasting time with people you don’t really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don’t focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don’t succeed. Don’t give up when you haven’t yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don’t ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

How are you like? Do the quiz HERE and let me know. =)

Posted in General | 5 Comments

A Dream.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” The teacher asked a very dumb-founded Jayson.

Jayson has never thought of that question before and has no ready answer for the teacher. “Erm..” Jayson absent mindedly bit his lips while thinking of his answer.

“Astronaunt!” Jayson replied with a huge grin on his face. He knew that was what he wanted; for he has always wondered what it was like to be among the stars.

That was more than a decade ago. Jayson no longer wants to be an astronaunt, but he knows exactly what he wants, and he is working towards it. He knows it’s not going to be easy, but he is willing to slog his ass for it.

“You should have studied a course that could get you a job easily.. and with good pay too! Look at Aunty Lucy’s son, he is now working as…” Jayson switches off as his mum continues to tell him how well Aunty Lucy’s son is doing.

Jayson feels bad about not being able to contribute to the family, and even more frustrated at not being able to explain the concept of a dream to his family who had grown up in an era where the concept of a dream is being able to put food on the table. He knows he is fortunate enough not to grow up in that era, but he has a dream, and should he give up his dream? Should he be like the majority and just be part of the system?

Amidst all the questions in his head, Jayson already has the answer in his heart. He just has to believe in it.

Posted in Feelings, Musings, Story-telling | 10 Comments